Ok, so it’s actually good that you are noticing that part of yourself that is afraid of abandonment. That is very common with people that have a bit of a tough background. It is also possible that she had some fear of abandonment when she was a child, so she may be doing a kind of trauma-reenactment. To an extent, I understand where you’re coming from and how you feel. Sometimes when people say “Oh, I totally understand!” doesn’t really help. It sounds like you might have had a bit of a rough childhood, due to social standards, such as hiding mental disabilities. I ask you to not turn to drugs, alcohol, or sex when you’re struggling. It might feel hard. It might feel impossible. But if you ignore it, then you can’t help yourself help yourself. Hurt people hurt people, because they were hurt by hurt people. And the cycle continues. This isn’t just directed to you, but anybody that needs help and doesn’t know how to ask for it in person. A river can only flow after the storm.