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im fat and HUNGRY AGAIN!!!!

I’m right there with you… I’ve been trying to quit nicotine and I have been absolutely ravenous basically ²⁴⁄₇ :(

That’s funny, my best friend growing up was from Taiwan and her dad kept trying to get her to eat more to get fat. “Eat more! Be fat like ike Pei Shin!” (her fat sister).

Is it so different in China or is it just that your mom would complain you were skinny, complain you are fat, complain you are short, complain you are tall?

Am in the mood to listen to people talk

Yo, if any y’all want a nicely done, mostly wholesome TV show to get into, I highly recommend “Shrinking”.

Interesting characters, good story lines. Besides, who doesn’t love Harrison Ford?

Catch it at your local Arrrrrrrr source.

Not really, no.

Especially for the non-American lemmings, have you ever had a rice krispie treat? Are you able to make or buy these where you live?

I just ate one for the first time in many many years, and wow I forgot how delicious they are.

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c331f8be-e749-43fb-a2e1-9deb6735089d.png

try “alfajores Mar del Plata” (this besch is not so great in comparison with Cancún, but the alfajores are the best of planet)

Cancún is full of sulfuric scented seaweed but I’ll ask about the alfajores Mar del plata

I’mma shrink the sun so I can steal it for my personal use xD

(Also no, vitamin d supplements does not work as good as sunlight)

Some dudes in the 1940’s were working on some Gadget that would do that.

They never managed to get a sustained reaction, but I hear some good work’s being done in China on that front…

Take vitamin d.

Ok, so it’s actually good that you are noticing that part of yourself that is afraid of abandonment. That is very common with people that have a bit of a tough background. It is also possible that she had some fear of abandonment when she was a child, so she may be doing a kind of trauma-reenactment. To an extent, I understand where you’re coming from and how you feel. Sometimes when people say “Oh, I totally understand!” doesn’t really help. It sounds like you might have had a bit of a rough childhood, due to social standards, such as hiding mental disabilities. I ask you to not turn to drugs, alcohol, or sex when you’re struggling. It might feel hard. It might feel impossible. But if you ignore it, then you can’t help yourself help yourself. Hurt people hurt people, because they were hurt by hurt people. And the cycle continues. This isn’t just directed to you, but anybody that needs help and doesn’t know how to ask for it in person. A river can only flow after the storm.

I kinda just sat there depressed the whole time even though I should be happy. Food was good… I guess… still not good enough to stop the darkness that consumes my souls inside. I told my mom about it and she’s just like “think happy thoughts”… “I occasionally feel depressed too”… ugh she will never understand lol. She told me she loves me like at least 10+ times today… idk, I’m not exactly feeling it… I still feel the fear of being abandoned, of rejection, still fearful they’ll end up betraying me, rejecting me.

We went to a park to just kinda just chill out, take a walk… I kinda just reminicent of old times when we spend time together. Sadly I’m not a kid anymore… although I still kinda acted like a kid today… felt like a kid at heart… I still feel like my inner child is here with me, the flame of joy… sort of… but expectations are different now… future looks scary…

So she just asks me: “do you love us? (“us” as in both of them… dad was also with us)

So idk what to say… felt too vulnerable to open up…

So I just said “you’ll love me regardless, right?”

And she told me “of couse”

Why is this so awkward?

So calm just walking in the park today… like in the eye of the storm, the calm before shit happens again, chaos soon reigns again…

I feel mom will go “bipolar” mode again…

On the way back she mentioned something about inheritance and asked the “am I ready to act normal” question again, and I just feel worried again… sort of ruined the vibe I just had chillng out, walking in the park just earlier.

Just average Chinese Family dynamics… what the fuck

emotions on a rollarcoaster

speaking off I kinda wanna go on a rollarcoaster

probably less scary than family relations…

hows your day?

No way, my parents told me its supposed to be a lucky year…

Maybe I misunderstood?

But again its just religion, its all made up so nothing is ever consistent xD

I don’t think some parents can accept that their kid is depressed. Some parents think if their kid is depressed it is a reflection of themselves and they failed in some way.

But there’s so many heavy, depressing external factors that young people deal with that their parents generation never dealt with. I feel like to be 24 and not at least mildly depressed (or pessimistic) means someone is in denial of reality.

I get the impression from this very small amount of information that she may not be able to fully relate to what you’re feeling. But I like that she said she occasionally feels depressed too. I’ve met people that couldn’t comprehend feeling general sadness. “You don’t have any reason to be down” kind of mentality.