After sexist locker-room talk led to a contentious week between the US Men’s and Women’s Hockey teams, today the Women’s and Seattle Torrent Team Captain Hilary Knight said she has accepted an invitation to smooth things over by knocking the rest of Jack Hughes’ teeth out.
You’re running out of principles to sell off for safety, bro.
“This was supposed to be my vacation, I was so excited for this gun battle, wtf?”
-US tourists maybe
As an American currently in Mexico, I lold
Is it save America or save the pedos?
I hate those APEs!!
You need emergency KFR pills!
Didn’t we put Tariffs on those though?
“I hate when a drink separates, and the mixer just sits on the bottom, and then you get a big glob of it at the end. That’s what happened in that thorium mai tai I made last week. But I think in this case it might be worth it, because the cocktail would have a cool glowing color—especially if we went somewhere with a black light. I have an idea: When we take it from Iran, let’s drop a shot glass full of uranium into a pint glass of beer and chug it.” At press time, Hegseth was said to have concluded that the radioactive substance made a decent chaser.
“Published: September 13, 2022”
le sigh
